Drink the Fire Whisky
by Marsetta
Summary: Ronald finds himself facing his cousin, only, wearing Slytherins robes? Part of my Of Slytherins and Gryffindors AU, only, Not really. Just some serious Crack.
**This is just a bit of Plot Bunny I needed to get out. Just a what if that will never happen in my Of Slytherins and Gryffindors AU.**

 **1850 Words**

 **I don't Own!**

 _ **ENJOY!**_

* * *

Ronald glared at his cousin, who was glaring back. Only, this wasn't his cousin. He noticed the green tie the pristine clothes. His cousin would have a fit if he had to wear his clothes like so.

"You aren't Draco Malfoy." Ronald said plainly, turning on the spot and moving away from the boy without caring. He only had to watch out for his cousin, a promise he regrets making to his aunt. Impostors were not part of the deal.

"I am Not a Slytherin bastard!" There was his cousin, just follow the sounds of indignant screams.

Soon he came upon his cousin, appearance just as messy as he remembered.

"Weasley! What the bloody hell?!" The people in the room turned to him. Harry Potter, looking a bit smarter than usual, and Hermione Granger, but not. The girl before him was like that last Draco, only, the opposite. Instead of his usual _friend_ , who wore her clothes like armor, pristine and expensive, this girl was also pristine, but in a more, comfortable way. Her hair though, was not in the usual complicated braid his Hermione wore, keeping her frizzy hair in check. This girl's hair was everywhere.

"Malfoy." His voice was cold, in a way he reserved for his family. "We are not within our universe. I would suggest being quiet." He commanded. And as predicted, his cousin grumbled under his breath, but otherwise kept silent.

"Hey, who are you? You look like Ron, but." Potter motioned to him, if he was anyone else, he might have rolled his eyes.

"I am Ronald Weasley. Now, if you don't mind, I will just take my idiot cousin and leave." He made sure not to put any emotion in his words, no need for them to know how annoyed he was.

"Hey, I'm not an idiot." Draco pouted. "Then why do you insist on being friends with a proven one?" Ronald felt like messing with him, maybe it will keep Draco from freaking out.

"Harry is not an idiot. He just, isn't smart." Draco rubbed his neck.

"Potter couldn't find the Gryffindor table yesterday." Ronald looked at him pointedly. "In his defense, he wasn't looking for the table. He was looking for your sister." Ronald's cold glare was again directed at Draco.

"Wait wait, what is going on here?" The other Ron asked, one hand on his head. Ronald doesn't blame him, he had a head ache as well.

"I am uncertain as to how we came to be here, but if we are here, so will Potter and Granger." Ronald turned again, deciding it would be best to find the mentioned two, he didn't have to. Granger was stalking down the hall, Potter at her heels.

"Weasley, what the hell is going on here? Some smug bastard that looked a lot like Malfoy just had the gall to ask where I stole my clothes. Everyone knows I stole them from you." She crossed her arms and cocked a hip.

"I am so confused." Potter moved to Draco's side.

"Like that's a first." Granger bit out.

Potter glared at the girl. "Wait, I agree with him. What is going on here? What happened?" The doppelganger Hermione got all their attention.

"Well, she's a Gryffindor, must be an idiot. I'll spell it out for you. We," She motioned to the group of four separate from the three, "Somehow got trapped here. I'm sure it was Potter's fault. Everything bad that happens, happens because of him somehow." Granger raised an eyebrow.

"You know, it's so weird to see you so ruffled Ronald." Granger stalked forward, making the others back away.

"I bet he acts just like your family. Loud, annoying, and is probably a loser, Like Malfoy." She stepped away from him. Ronald knew exactly what she thought of his cousin, and decided it was best to get her away from his doppelganger before she ate him. That was something he should never have to see.

"Granger, leave the Gryffindor alone. We must find a way to get us back." He noticed the awed look Potter had on his face and almost cursed.

"What is going on here?" He turned to find his sister's doppelganger. This wasn't good.

"Ginny dear! Hi. I didn't know you were going to be here." Potter nearly swooned as he moved to stand near his sister, who wasn't his sister. His Ginny would roll her eyes and continue moving away from the idiot. But this wasn't his sister.

"Ha-Harry?" The girl blushed a brilliant red. Potter was about to move, when he was stopped by two death stares. His, and the other Ronald's.

"Try it, and I will curse you." Ronald stated, his voice just as cold as usual. The other Ron nodded along with him.

Potter chuckled sheepishly as he rubbed his neck.

"Wait, why are there two of you, and him? And Malfoy in Gryffindor robes?" Ginny looked so confused. He doesn't blame her. He wants to know what's going on as well.

It took him a second to realize that Ginny didn't ask about Granger. He glanced around, she wasn't there.

"Where did Granger go?" Malfoy asked before he could voice it. He should have known.

"She went that way." Potter pointed behind Ginny. He should have known the idiot would let her get away.

"Why? Is she dangerous?" Hermione asked, her eyes going from one to the next, her fingers fidgeting.

"She has been known to hex people with un-removable hexes on occasion. The last boy to hit on her ended up a girl for six days." Malfoy told them. "It took him apologizing to not only her, but every girl he had hit on since the beginning of the year for her to release the curse. None of the professors knew what she did and they couldn't remove it themselves." His words made the Gryffindors pale. Ronald held in the grin, instead, a small smirk lifted his lips.

"I suggest we find her before an unsuspecting student stumbles upon her." He turned and made to move in the direction his cousin had pointed out.

"Draco Darling. Why are you wearing such wonderful colors?" Ronald heard. He didn't know if he wanted to save his cousin's doppelganger from his friend. He decided to speed up when he heard Draco's scathing remark about mudbloods.

"Put the wand down Granger." Ronald stated as soon as she was in sight. She was glaring at the blonde boy, her wand directed at his chest.

"I have done worse for less Weasley. Let me put this prick in his place." She bit out, her lips curling back in a sneer.

"And have you leave him horribly disfigured in the hallway of Hogwarts?" He raised an eyebrow. He paused, letting them think he was thinking it over.

"Don't do it Granger. I'm too gorgeous to hurt." His cousin just had to open his mouth.

"I won't stop you. I'm going to find Severus." Ronald turned, brushing past his cousin with a dangerous smirk on his face. His heart sped as he thought of his favorite teacher and secret crush.

"Hey! No!" Malfoy squawked indigently. Granger was about to say something, but stopped abruptly. Ronald didn't really care what happened to the doppelganger and decided to find the teacher instead of finding out what happened back there.

* * *

He walked through the halls, finding himself in the dungeons before long, moving with a purpose.

Some Slytherins who were loitering outside the commons stopped to stare at him as he moved.

He soon came upon a door, knocking. Sounds of someone moving behind the door came to his ears.

The door opened quickly, and Severus Snape was glaring at him. Ronald felt his face flush slightly, his ears were hot. He damned his body for its automatic reaction to the older man.

"Mr. Weasley? What are you doing here, and why are you wearing that?" Severus looked angry, like always.

"Professor, please, follow me. We have a problem." Simple, to the point. Now he just needs to pick up his bloody feet and move back to the group, who he was sure were still bickering about cursing the other Malfoy.

He managed it, somehow, and was soon leading the perplexed teacher back to the hallway. Just like he thought, the eight were still bickering, though Malfoy was sporting a new colored hair. He never thought he'd see the day that Malfoy was a redhead.

"What is going on here?" Severus' voice was deep and demanding, it sent shivers down Ronald's back, he held in his feelings as he watched the others trying to explain what Granger did, while Granger stood back and watched Malfoy running his hands through his hair, almost like he was trying to scrub the color away.

"Simple Professor, I'm teaching this arrogant git that insulting someone with a wand is never a good idea." Granger smirked. Ronald mused that if he was the type, he might have been waving his hands in the air, trying to stop the girl from speaking.

"Granger, this is not our world, Professor Snape does not necessarily appreciate your particular brand of punishment here as he did there." Ronald pointed out.

"I had wondered if you'd do that here too. My answer has been received." Granger gave him a blank stare.

"Do what?" Granger's doppelganger asked, moving a bit closer to his own doppelganger.

"Kiss Professor Snape's a-" Her voice suddenly cut off, her lips were moving, but no sound left her mouth. A smirk appeared. She looked at Ronald with her annoyingly knowing eyes. Her lips moved to a familiar muggle song.

He glared at her.

"I don't get it." Potter said dumbly, of course he didn't get it. Granger mouthed the words, making Ronald release the curse.

"We just need to find a way back to our own world. My aunt will kill me if her bright baby boy was hurt." Ronald felt a fleeting triumph when Malfoy blushed.

"Come, we need to speak with Dumbledore." Ronald followed Severus through the halls, ignoring the snickering coming from his friend.

"I still don't get it." Potter was walking alongside Malfoy, his hands clasped before him.

Granger snorted. The trio of Doppelgangers were following behind them closely, Malfoy's doppelganger walked behind them alongside Ginny.

* * *

They got to Dumbledore's office soon after, their group walking in and filling it quite spectacularly.

"How do we get back?" Potter asked, a pout on his lips.

"It would seem that you four should be going on your own. The residue magic in your system looks to be working on a way to get you back." Albus told them kindly. Ronald didn't want to believe that it would be that simple. But, his Albus had been nothing if not truthful.

"How lon-" And they were gone. Ronald felt that something was way too simple with that, too convenient and the whole experience felt pointless. Maybe it would come up later in life? Or it was just a bad dream after a night of Granger convincing him to try Fire Whisky.

* * *

 **I really don't know guys. I just, don't.**

 **Mars**


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